finally,
meet up with SELENE ONG during the weekends after 124425 months. I miss you girl. Updates from each other are like never-ending. Maybe cause we have alot to say. If I'm wasn't that tired due to no sleep the night b4, I wanna just stay at the foodcourt and talk all night.

-notion of love vs expectations: how do you weigh these 2 factors? the conception of love is so deep that there's no exact meaning to the word 'love'. and most people, I guess, would go some extra miles to make his/her partner happy. this is perfectly fine, nothing wrong with that. but, if going too many of the extra miles, and I mean too many, won't it mean there's insecurity in the r/s? however, this point can be subjective too. some people don't mind doing so and yet they feel it's RIGHT and a MUST to do so, as long as the partner is happy. may be how one defines his/her own levels of happiness to love is very individualistic, very subjective. some people are easily contented, some people are contented yet in their hearts they secretly hope for more in which they create expectations for the other partner unknowingly, some people are always striving to be the one for him/her, resulting in exhausting oneself at the end of each cross junction and some are only happy when his/her wish is fulfilled.
which ever person you are, love and expectations must come together so to make the r/s more meaningful. but overdoing it may backfired, and that's why compromise comes into the picture. Like I can say, love is like a magnet; opposite poles attract and like poles repel. Too much of a similarity will end up wanting the best for each other ( no couple wouldn't want the best for his/her partner), because you know about his/her likes and dislikes therefore you would try to do more of his/her likings and avoid his/her dislikes. So, this qns is for you, do you like what you are doing? Is this going to last for a lifetime doing things he/she likes? It's going to be very tiring I would say. Maybe things will be smooth going b4 marriage, but who can say what will happen AFTER marriage?
this can be a qns I ask myself, what will becomes of us when Bing finishes his National Service? What will becomes of us when he goes to NTU? Well, it's all unpredictable. I have to agree to him that one step at a time is the only solution to my qns. Planning too far is pointless, it will only gives me more fears and uncertainty that this or that might happen. What's more I'm someone who don't like to follow by the plan. I believe in every girl's heart there's bound to have a fear, even two madly-in-love love birds will have this fear. An undefined fear; a fear so strong that this may be the reason why couples break up. on the other hand, we can never overcome this fear because it will always be in you. may be one could only suppress that fear to its minimum. maybe, maybe believing in ourselves is good enough for each other, why not believing in ourselves that we are good enough for our relationship, so to give that confidence and faith for not just the both of us but also to minimise the the insecurity that may occur?

Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves.
- Henri Frederic Amiel


// anyway, thanks Bing to be there at that point of time. A listening ear is all I need. And thanks to friend who specially come down ((: marks given for extra effort. hahah. Now back on track, spent hell lots on I-don't-know-where, all I know is $$ has been disappearing from my bank acc. Hmm, maybe after xmas it's time to be a loan shark and chase for all the $$; OWE $ PAY $