Tuesday, May 30, 2006
A game over or a restart?
1:30 AM
Exams are coming in just few days time. Like, 4 more days? And i am not prepared for it?? haiz.. Well, i can feel the stress, the tension that i got from my class and canoe. I feel so stressed up that i wish i have the power to stop time and let me breathe for a few more seconds. Last sat, i actually broke down for some reasons. Damn stressed i think. Attachment, polo, competition, skills, studies, exams, financial problems. My brain is squeezing all the excess brain juices to solve all these problems.
Ok, enough of such crap. Let's talk about some interesting stuffs that happened recently. Last sat too! =)) Uh`mm, i learnt to make Chocolate Fondue!! Woosh! Nxt time i can try and make one.. =))) Basically, we went to jiun's hs and have fun. yeah, for the 1st time, i really gone for a movie marathon. Her house was full of VCDS and DVDS..Boxes and boxes of them. We watched one movie after another. I think for the whole night, we had been watching movies.Goodness me. Another thing, her house is so much like a jungle. Got different kinds of animals and plants.. What fascinated me and most of us was the fishes in the tank. There's this weird looking creature that has a fish body , yet has a crocodile-like mouth. So unqiue! Her mickey( don know what terrier breed =Xx) , is damn freaking cute lorz.. so hyperactive, so cute plz! Hmm.... =))
Then we were supposed to give Fionne's a surprise. A belated birthday celebration. Yeah, she got surprised. =) And im glad that everyone enjoyed the cake. HAHA.. After which, we proceeded to our chocolate fondue!! Yess! That's what im waiting for. OMG! So sinful i know. And i ate alot alot. =Xx Gracia made the effort to stay by the stove and watched over the yummy chcocolate. Then after that, we ate the chocolate with STRAWBERRIES, APPLES, BANANAS, GRAPES, MARSHMELLOWS. Seem so healthy yet so sinful. So nice! =)) I think for a moment, i thought i felt kinda sick and tired of chocolate. FOR THE 1sT TIME! Hahaha. Her house is very comforting. Nice! Then, some of them went to watch ghost ship. Of cause i wont be that stupid to scare myself. So i went to watch this show called '' the L word'' .. Well, basically, it's a lesbian show. Haha` Well, and i kinda fascintaed by the show =X As in, it's unique cause i have never watched such show before. It's a kind of experience for me. =)
Well, some of them played games and got themselves drunk. Saw the UGLIEST side of them. Such as hugging the toilet bowl in case he needed to throw up again, and snatching the dog's territory cause it's near the toilet? Got one person still throw up when morning arrived. How sad. End up, some of us got to clean the mess up for them. -Shake head- So unglam of them please. Omg, i cant imagine i actually mop up the vomits. Come to think of it, it does makes me feel kinda disgusted. Uh`mm but think of the good side, this shows that nxt time i can be a good housewife right? HAHAA~~ -dream on- Well, im training for it ar. hAHA.
Didnt sleep until 5am. Then finally cannot take it and slept till 8++ am. Dragged myself up and found that some of them still sleeping and some were already awake. We ordered Mac delivery and the person took 1++ hrs to get our food here. For the fact that they cant find the place. -.- Complained about their lousy service. tsktSk! Good thing that we left her house at about 2, if not i got to rot in city hall for sometime. Went for abit of shopping, with a sleepy state of mind, i bought 3 tops. When actually i was supposed to find other stuff, end up buying some unnecessary things. Haiz, always like that. I got no time for shopping! Exams screwed up my precious time for shopping.
Oh ya! Did i say about how aunties we can be? haha, on last friday, when it was the 1st day of GSS? We chiong to town to shop! Omg! And there's sales till 12 midnight. There's midnight sales la. We are so aunties to shop for the pathetic 3 hours for the 1st day of GSS. Indeed the sales are tempting. And i regretted not buying the jeans at Topshop which costs 70++ bucks after discount. Damn. Now there's no more discount to jeans. Not at Mango, not at Zara, definitely not at Topshop and Espirit. Sian!
Well, after such 3 days of fun, reached home at about 7+ and i fell damn tired. No enough to study too. Eat ,bath, packed bag and slp. Suddenly i missed my bed so much.
I want and hope all these are already game over.
Friday, May 19, 2006
1:18 AM
Dont set conclusion, cause u did not know or understand me enough. I am who i am. That's the real me. However, i think im not doing the wrong thing. That's one thing im certain. This is the best I can do, yet i know i can do better. Dont worry, im trying. That's for sure. Im stubborn for having my own mindset, cause this is what makes up of Serene Lim. I know what im doing. ps: these are just some random thoughts that swirled in my mind for sometime. Im trying to vent it out here.
Be it happy or sad; laugh or cry, this is Life! And this time, i know i will want to go further and higher than this. When you know you have done your best, look around and u will know that you have yet to push yourself to greater heights.
Once again, i searched high and low. And i questioned myself once again. ''Where's my motivation?'' This is just an excuse to run away from all the stress. New problems encountered, old problems are yet to be solved. Damn! I dread of this. Really really sick of this. End it please....
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
when i cant get to slp..
2:07 AM
It's now 2.07am and im here blogging. Im feeling dread tired yet im not in my bed. I find that i need to update something. If not this blog seems so dead. Aiya, anyway it's dead~ -.- Nothing interesting happened in my life recently. So bored, so sian~ can something interesting please happen to me?!?! HAhaHA!
Recently, went to sentosa with NACC ppl. =)) Well, i got to tan abit abit and play volleyball~ Well, i think we all sux at it. But we had fun! =) the most funny thing was when pandora's slipper got stuck at the coconut's tree and every1 made some ''scarifices'' to get that slipper down~ what a nice show! =)) Thanz to the helpful guys. =))
My studies suXx! That's one thing i know for sure. My international economic is like a total shit. I don understand a single shit what the economic is saying. I think i cant be a successful businesswoman. I think i will just pull the whole company down. HahaHa! About 7 years time, of u heard about a company goes bankrupt, i think im the cause of it~ Hahaha!! im just not cut out to be a businesswoman. And for goodness sake, i don't know what the hell i will choose business in the first place~ -.-
So many happy endings i see. Sweets-candy-sugar-like feeling. =)) Where's mine! HahHaa..
I lost the motivation that i once had it
I lost the sense of encouragement that u once gave me
Monday, May 01, 2006
I draw a conclusion now..
2:12 AM
School starts this week. Uh`mm what can i say about this? STRESS! So many assignments are coming up. Competition is approaching in less than 3 months. Studies is one thing i fear i cant cope. Studies, canoe, work. FULL STOP~ so no life` =( This sem core modules are like some killer modules. Especially IEF~ omgg~ i dont know how am i going to cope~ The intensive training will drain my energy and time. Nevertheless, studies do come 1st for now. I hope i can reach for my aim of GPA 3.3 this sem. Very hard i know. Seeing the modules that im having now, i got no confident at all.
Im still the old self. The no much self-confidence girl. Yday, i did alot alot of self reflection. From the journey to 4e5 chalet, i thought alot~ i thought about my life- canoe, studies, and relationships. so many thoughts and flashbacks. Indeed i missed my past. It's wrong to think of the past now cause it's useless. But my past shaped me into who and what i am now. My seconday school life did a major part.
Time passed, people changed. Some become more matured, some have onli slight changed. But they do changed somehow. Some change for the worse. Some remain unchanged. Especially attitude wise~ They are still as crappy as usual. haha~ good for them. A few are still as nice =) Childish moments are over. Haha, come to think of it, actually i got a wonderful secondary live. Exclude all the unhappy ones, my life isnt that bad right? Well, human masks make up to what the real reality is. Humans can never be truthful at ALL times.. We are human beings. No one is perfect. We cant expect someone to be as perfect as u want he or her to be. That explains why conflicts occur sometimes.
People are one bunch of ironical and unpredictable creatures. Sound kinda scary huh? But that the fact. We can think and say about this thing at this time, but after a while, we think differently and do differently. I dont know how to explain. Ignore what i am saying~ =x
I cant perform at all. I mean in polo. i cant perform to my own expectation. I think im just wasting my time in pool. And i think im wasting other people's time. haiz.. my moral is being pulled to its minimum. I got no energy, no confidence to bring out the best in me. I feel so not-me. Somehow, something seems to bothering me. I got no idea what the hell i am thinking. I thought reverse psycohology does help. The coming year one are coming in, yet is our skills up to a year 2 standard? But somehow too much of a disappointment will results in more disppointments and eventually losing hope~..
Emotions come and go as they wish. Im losing control of it. =(
Im losing grip.......... of everything..